Happy Anniversary - to me

Oct 24, 2012

Can you believe it's been TWO years since I began my journey with Tracy Anderson? I for one am baffled. Reminiscing on the last years have made me cry with joy, pat myself on the back for coming full circle in my life, and then ask myself "WTH, why are you slacking? In the early days I was SO committed and reaped phenomenal results.  Maybe its because grad school got crazier leading up to graduation, or my personal life went ape, or I got cocky with my progress and stopped making the effort - EVERY.DAY.  Whatever the reason, it is NOT a valid excuse to let what helped me discover my true self fall by the wayside. Since signing up for my first half marathon my priorities have changed. In order to be ready I MUST log the miles, put in the time and prepare myself.  But at the same time, I have struggled with finding a balance (see previous posts here and here) between half marathon training AND Tracy Anderson, without neglecting either one. Reaching out, everyone was super supportive and gave me fantastic words of wisdom (shout out to Parker for the awesome advice!).  I won't be deceitful, since beginning running, my rear and thighs have taken a new shape, in a good way, but it scared the hell outta me when I woke up one day and realized my teeny tiny rear had gotten all sorts of juicy (again, not in a bad way, but enough to take notice). Then I gained a hearty ten (fine, twelve) pounds. And let me stop you know before you say "muscle weighs more than fat" before I break someone's hip.  My scale doesn't decipher between muscle and fat, so when the evil digital bitch displays my weight, she shows no mercy. That ain't my cup o' tea folks. Plus, it breaks the promise I made to myself upon completion of boot camp (previous posts here and here: Pics here) NEVER to be squishy again. Which makes me want to go all Biggest Loser/Intervention about it, but we all know fitness/weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint.  

Looking into the future I cannot predict what will occur. At this phase in my life I have grown to LOVE running, something I NEVER thought would happen since I was the girl who hid when we had to run in gym.  I still ADORE Tracy and her method, and have so much joy in my heart when I meet her one day I will probably be a bawling, babbling bafoon. While I haven't found a consistent schedule with her throughout the week (4-6 times a week was my original goal), I know once the yoga mat and weights come out I am home.  Which feels AMAZING (-and I'm crying). The only thing I can do is enjoy this life I was given, and make time for priorities, one of which is fitness. I can't make generalized promises to myself anymore of I WILL do this, this, and this AND live my life, it drives me insane and took a toll on my self esteem when I didn't get EVERY blasted thing done in a day. Learning along the way I'm making steps to incorporate all my favorite fitness related things into my life, exploring new one's along the way, and trying desperately not to be discouraged if my grand plan doesn't work out - I have to be flexible, life is constantly throwing curve balls, therefore I must adjust - without a meltdown.  

While I have steps to make in order to reach my goals, I'm confident with determination it WILL get done. I still want to weigh 117 pounds again, if I can get to 115, well, that's my Christmas wish. But anything under 120 would be in my body comfort zone. With that I know french fries and cupcakes cannot enter my mouth 7 days a week and then expect miracles. However I'm human, and must remember small indulgences must be savored. 80/20 remains my guidepost, watching "what" I eat, and not "watching" it enter my mouth by the handful. Baby steps. 

There is SO much to be thankful for today. I'm a size 2 (previously a 4), in J.Crew Minnie capris I'm a zero, which I squealed with delight when the saleslady told me that. Score. My life is NOT dictated by the size of my clothes, but I'm PROUD to have come this far and have results, both tangible and intangible to show for it.

For my two year TAM anniversary I give gratitude for each memory, "yay" moment, trial, ache/pain, and sweat dripping moment. It feels incredible, and I am eager and excited for what is to come.

2 comments:

  1. Happy Anniversary Marcia! Fitness is a marathon, not a sprint as you said and you are making good time on yours girl.

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