Lard. Squish. Jelly.

Feb 26, 2013

Hey dolls,

With my first half mary of 2013 this Sunday (eek!), I'm already planning the AFTER -  how to make the next race even better (training wise), and how to make 10 pounds fall off my body, yesterday. One understands marathon training weight gain, ok I don't but that is neither here nor there.  Wait, its attached to my dimply ass and massive truffle shuffle so I do care, alot.

Before I excite bore you to tears you with my mania, let me digress a bit. Friday I got in my final long run before this weeks taper. My goal? 12 miles. Reality? 10.67 miles. Not because I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, but because I thought my local (less than 200 steps from my front door - SO lethal) fro yo haunt closed at 10 p.m. and the clock read 9:45. Priorities.  But I will say my pace times were decent, probably cuz my outer inner fat girl was running towards the prize.  An overflowing bowl of fro yo, layered to perfection: death by chocolate, peanut butter, salted caramel, skipping the pile on's because that my friends is a party in your mouth.  No extras needed.

Now, when I weighed myself  AND had to do the fat girl dance (HARD) to get into my jeans on Sunday I shouldn't have been surprised, I eat like its my JOB. Let's go ahead and assume I was on the verge of tears all day, proclaimed a house wide diet (M later bought a Hershey bar and I almost shoved it up his ass), and pouted. Like a 3 year old.

Coming full circle, this bitch is going on a strike. From being all "lazy in love", damn you pounds that creep (ok jump on willing) once you get into a new relationship, kiss my ass sugar that turns to fat and ends up making me look like I'm carrying the oldest baby ever, suck it laziness, cross training in not optional, running  like a kenyan is. So, after this half mary its on like donkey kong.  I'm talking as soon as my feet land back in STL measurements and photos will be taken, juice cleanse begins, along with a food/exercise/write down everything I do, consume, feel journal, these ten pounds are getting their eviction notice.  Now.

Having laid that gauntlet and made promise to give you nightmares with photos, I need your help. OCD Marcia is in search of a way to document this all. Right now I use the lose it app and that doesn't allow for notes. So I'm going anti technology, using a blank journal, and documenting the shit out of my everyday life until my goal (115 lbs) is met. This is what I have so far - help a sista out...

  • Date
  • Workout - duration, time (of day) location, activity, calories burned
  • Food - meal (breakfast, etc), portion size, liquid consumption, what I'm doing while I'm eating, how felt after,  why I'm eating (emotional, bored, etc)
  • Mood - overall that day
  • Skin - clear/blemishes
  • Sleep - hours, naps, how feel when wake up
Moving on, this is what our brilliant meteorolgists predict for today. Notice the effing question mark.  Really?! How ballsy is that to just proclaim "I have no fucking clue walk outside and guess, I can't tell". 


DWTS introduced the cast for their 16th season  - #bigfatpass.  I used to be obsessed with that show. This cast, #notsomuch.

Think Thin introduced a new line of bars - Divine. In three different coconut inspired flavors, it's game on to find these bad boys. I've been hoard/devouring these guys since 2010, and yes, I have an emergency bar in my purse. And car. Now only if it were legal to tote around an emergency bottle of bubbly...

Anyone else do the "fat girl jeans dance"? 

Favorite cleanse? My favorite is the 3 Day Cleanse (see past cleanses, here)

Do you document your food/fitness? If so, how?

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  1. Gosh, you are so funny.

    I really liked the 10 day cleanse through Advocare. It was about $30... and was kind, if you know what I mean.

    And I totally agree on DWTS.... Lame sauce.


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